Greater explanation of what happens in emergency circumstances (e.g mother taken to theatre)
I just felt like my wife had all this teaching, and confidence and I didn’t. I think more visits during the first two weeks and maybe some to speak to me?
I think the Dads are pretty much second fiddle, the entire focus is on Mum and baby. I know they are the most important, but Dads have a major role to play in care of the mother and child. Talk to us!
The dad is pretty much cut off at this time in terms of health visitors and midwives I felt. It was OK for me as we were both so close and confident, but I can see how for some it could be a very lonely time.
A debrief of the birth in dad terms, how we can support after a traumatic birth, about skin to skin.
I would have liked to have felt more supported by the midwife, we did get this from our health visitor though, and maintain an excellent relationship with him above and beyond what he ‘needs’ to do.
To have maternity staff speak to both parents rather than direct everything at the mother.
I was left alone with my baby for about 20 minutes while my wife was rushed to theatre for a bad tear. As much as I loved this time being with my new son, it was hard to get info on my wife and it might have been nice in that 20 minutes if SOMEONE had just popped a head in to make sure I was ok.
Midwives need to respect the partner’s role. We had a fantastic midwife who was a joy. But when she left there were others who were wanting to push you in a corner, “silly man that you are”, and take over.
I didn’t feel like I had the knowledge to support my wife. I wasn’t sure what she wanted or needed and although the midwives were very good at supporting my wife, I feel that I wasn’t included. Perhaps some advice from the midwife on how I could have been a part of the labour experience.
With both births I found that dads are just left on the maternity wards after and paid little attention to. Understandably mum and baby need the main attention to make sure they are both well and OK, but dads just appear to be seen as a visitor.
It would have been nice to have someone to talk to or some extended service about my wife’s postpartum depression.
Ensure that mums know they can bring dads to midwife appointments- we had no clue.
It might be nice if the midwives didn’t look at you like you’re weak if you show any sign of tiredness during the birth.